How Are You Doing?
Are you anxious about the review you will be giving to that not so stellar worker? How fast is your concern meter running about that teenager enjoying the end of the school year a bit too much? Are you and your family having difficulty even starting to discuss your aging parents’ future? Life can get pretty messy and/or hard sometimes. On the flip side of that, we have the beautiful gift of showing up every single day; no matter that it is easy or hard. Today is your lucky day! Today I will give you a trick; learned long ago, that may help you live through those thoughts and concerns.
Before Each Potentially Stressful Situation; Create an “Open and Empty” Mind State
If left alone, our powerful mind will do as it pleases; especially if it is totally unmanaged by its owner; which is, of course, you. The trick is learning to harness the energy of your thoughts and this is a powerful skill that comes only through practice. Before the event, practice having an “Open and Empty” mind state, as this is a great place to be; when you learn to step into it.
Don’t Allow Yourself Any Expectations
The mental review, prior to that meeting with a co-worker, the teenager out celebrating, and the care of aging parents is simply a bunch of thoughts and situations about the future. The mind has a great capacity for “creative writing” about future situations, but only if you allow it this indulgence. As best you can, be “Open and Empty” to the various possibilities of the upcoming conversation; without prejudgment, or having expectations as to the outcome of the meeting.
Before your co-worker review, before you have the “responsibility” talk with your teen and before you have another family meeting, remind yourself to become “Open and Empty” to the possibilities of the meeting itself and the outcome. That means no internal dialog as to “when he says this, I’m going to say that” or the famous “Last time she said this, so I will be prepared to come back with this clever statement.” I liken this pre-conversation mind-talk to becoming “Battle ready.”
Better to put down your prepared weapons, and lead with your heart and a clear mind. The end result, of being “Open and Empty,” will surprise you.
How to achieve this “open and empty” state is just one of the tools we teach at Stress Less Workshops, programs designed to reduce stress and give you tools to live your life.